looking back

there was a time in my life when I genuinely believed that someone had cursed me

anything that could go sour, did

friendships, relationships, jobs, my health

it seemed every other interaction was foul

a long open fridge with a putrid stench

I so believed I’d been cursed that I had a friend from kindergarten make a protection amulet for me, it arrived beautifully packaged and with a spell to activate it

then I thought maybe my root chakra was out of alignment and I began listening to certain frequencies of Tibetan monk chanting and Native American flute

still the bad energy stayed, so I started saging my home with no real knowledge of how to do it only later finding out you’re supposed to open a window or door so the bad energy has a place to go and I’d just stirred it all up

perhaps some of these things worked

or perhaps they were little more than a salve for my aching heart and mind

but there was one thing that worked

I kept going.

whether by choice or by nature

I continued living and eventually my path was found, the tempest calmed, the stars and planets ceased their torture

my protection amulet still hangs, coincidentally, from my rearview mirror

often bringing me back to a time when I thought I’d been cursed

and I laugh