I let myself not be too certain

in many things I let myself not be too certain, not too unwilling to say I was wrong, not too unmoving in my understanding of the world around me

the rigid tree breaks when the winds of change come knocking at the door

the last time I was certain of my path, certain I was right, certain I knew truth as much as the eyes in the mirror, one single thread of belief snagged on reality and my whole identity came unraveled

no, I’m not too certain

not too certain there isn’t a god

not too certain there is

not too certain I’ll always want this hair style

not too certain I won’t

not too certain I know what I want to do in life

not too certain I don’t

I have made my shelter where the black of reality meets the white of wonder, snuggled in comfy and cozy where everything around me is bathed in the gray glow of uncertainty

I make my tea

and it is gray

and I drink it

and I am uncertain whether it’s good

or it’s bad

but of this I am certain…

I have loved you before

our souls have been intertwined in a thousand different ways and each time we have promised to return to one another

I am certain that the only color in this gray haven is because you have hung it there, or we have painted it, lit it up in a burst of queer joy

I am certain my soul will go on loving you in every lifetime

that I will always find my way back to the calm spring of you

that I will drink my fill

and bask in the twinkling reflection of the sun on your gentle surface

I think I have never been more certain.