Chocolate, Caramel, and Coconut

When I miss you,

I draft a text I know I'll never send.

Sometimes I even take a picture,

eyes wet behind the camera searching for just the right angle

because I know you wouldn't listen to

any more than a thousand words.

When I miss you,

there is no trying to decide what flavor of coffee to get that day

because I know you'd get something with

chocolate, caramel, and coconut.

When I miss you,

A few positive memories find their way to the front of my mind

before they are pushed aside by the rest

because I know that it all really did happen,

and that it really did hurt.

Sometimes it still does.

When I miss you,

I'm reminded of why I even left

Because I know that you'd never truly understand the "why" ...

Do you know what it is to grieve someone who is still alive?

-a.b.